Ululare's blog

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Angels With Dirty Faces (DVD)
The Great Gatsby
The Scarlet Letter
The Harry Potter series (books and DVD)
Tennyson's In Memoriam
moemoemormeormkersesd

Names and Games

Weird combo.
Favorite names:

Heathcliffe
Hadley
Lyle
Leon
Leonard

Games I may try:

Okami
God of War
Resident Evil

I think I'm done with Silent Hill for now...I'm not too smart for it...

This was a really random post...

todaytodayeachdayihave

Today started off kind of 'eh', but it turned out alright. It was a quiet and very, very lethargic morning. Not lazy, just, I felt as if my body was swelled and woolly and huge. I felt flushed until I left the house, and very, very, very unfit. I need to exercize..oh, I wish gym memberships at the University weren't so expensive.

 

So, today I utilized the gift of my friend Lauren, which was a gift card to Michael's. I'm really hoping that I'll be patient and imaginative enough to create something that people will like with the stuff that I got.... I hope it doesn't all turn out corny and cliche. Driving was nice, but I wish I'd had someone to go've gone with me, but there weren't really any choices.

 

When I drove past my house, Jimmy's truck was still there, so I kept going down to do a little side trip to Tom's Barn to visit my baby. I am half owner, technically. I wish I had more hand with him though. He really is a huge baby, and I'm glad he turned out so friendly and had a lot of personality. I love Gideon. He's a sweetie, he really is, and I'm really glad he didn't have to be chopped up and eaten like his brothers.

 

I'm at the library still, playing KoL and reminiscing. I found a ton of old sketchbooks cleaning out my room. Some of the pictures were way too bizarre, like clowns stabbing neeldes into their eyes, and old old anime sketches. Ridiculous! But also, fun to look at. I also found a box of notes from Cassie from freshman year at Wamogo. That was kind of interesting. I was relieved to find out I wasn't the only one who was way angsty.

 

Jake was coming towards me, as I pulled into the library, and I was almost wishing my phone would ring, but at the same time, I think I just want to tell him off.

 

Man I'm hungy.

 

I need to exercize!

Two things

First: The best part about today was. I exited the sheep barn, after giving them some water and splitting an apple between them (with wire cutters, because I couldn't find the knife..) and saw Meegen trying to catch Brownie, who was trotting about freely. Well, I jogged over with my camera dangling in an ungainly fashion at my side. They said, well, if you can catch him, that's cool. I wasn't about to try, but I headed to the cow barn, and what do you know, the old neglected Quarter Horse of my youth was standing there, and all I had to do was say his name and he came on over. He followed me back, and I remembered how much I used to love the sound of horse breath and their strong necks, and soft fur. Anyway, he nudged the grain barrel open, after I'd opened the door to his green house open, and I felt bad, because it was empty. I got him in, and rehooked the wires, and hoped he'd stay. But I got him a carrot too. A nice big fat carrot. And he just stood there with his face turning white with age and his hooves overgrown and his small Quarter Horse ears. I patted him a little, but he's old and he's lonely and probably bitter, or as bitter as a horse can be.

Second: I think if I were in jail, and didn't have access to music, I'd go mad with all the songs that would be stuck in my head, that I'd never have a chance to listen to again.

Good Morning, Bess

My new year's resolution is to start distancing myself from things that make me angry, and spending more time doing things that I like.

Things that make me angry:
My mom when she's on the phone
My twin
The thinking about of my university
Money
People I used to be friends with

Things that I like:
My dog
My music
Being outside
Being in my room
Talking to a few friends

Florida was alright. I guess any relatively new experience has to be at least "alright'. I liked this long bikeride we took through the fancy PGA Golf Course at one point, looking for alligators but not really looking. Maybe it was just the endorphines though. Everybody bitched constantly though, including myself, and I couldn't get away for more than like ten minutes, to just sit and not be surrounded by talking and useless blah-blah-blah-ing. At first I was mad because my sister was texting endlessly, but  by the end of the week I was too, just because there wasn't anything else to do and I didn't care if it was rude or not by that point.

I just got struck by a desire to go to Michael's, but my car isn't here! Oh, well. At least I know that I'll still get in the mood to create things sometime.

My to-do list before school:

Make sure my mom fills out the FAFSA
Decide what to bring to school
Decide what not to bring to school
Do something fun with somebody, at least once
Go for a lot of walks
Fill up at least two rolls of film AND get them developed
Go to Michael's and get fun stuff

When I DO get to school, I guess I should make more of a conscious effort this time to make nice with my roommate. But as Lauren and I inexorably drift apart, I know that it will be even lonelier than the first semester. I'll just have to find something to do, I guess......

what is it?

 

Of course, I didn't write in this as much as before when I was writing in my written journal but in the past week, I haven't even written in that. Starting Thursday, everything was wonderful. Thursday was one of the best days of the past year. I don't know why but even when I feel a little nervous, I'm mostly just happy and grateful, hanging out leaning against the bed and sipping hot chocolate. A little shudder and clinch, jealousy, stop fucking looking there, there's better things where you are. But, somehow, I don't think it needs to be said. People will take the risks they will. I don't want to see anyone get hurt though.

The weekend was okay, but I was jumpy for some reason. We decorated Fattycakes our Christmas tree, and I drank hot chocolate, not studying much but somehow not being really bothered by it. The plague of guilt wasn't really all that present.

I didn't even bother returning to school Sunday night, instead came back Monday morning. Traffic was smooth until we reached New Haven itself. I hate this city, it is gross. My first exam was okay, except for the essay. The OTHER essays were handed back, and I got a 98. Hopefully they balanced out. The Political Science one was better than I thought it would be. Lots of rules - she got mad if we didn't mark things exactly where she wanted them. Granted, some of those girls just don't listen, and deserve to get whatever poor grade they get. Me too, since I should've studied more, although I think I still did alright. I covered as much as I could.

Things seem to be going very slowly in all directions, seeping out into everywhere, like an egg on a frying pan when you're making a breakfast sandwich. Hell if you can keep it all contained, as much as you try, it all oozes everywhere. I suck at similes and metaphors.

 

Last night I hung out with Jeff some more. It is weird how noticeable it is when people hit the mark where they become comfortable with you and their real personality comes out. It can be awkward. I'm not sure what I think of him. He does mean well, but he seems at odds with some other people. Jordan really, really scares me, but I really really want to get to know them better for some reason. I think she'd probably pummel me though. Heh. Um, but yeah, I watched Starsky and Hutch, and totally got caught skipping my floor meeting. I don't know, it's weird. I don't really want to give Jeff the wrong idea, for several big and obvious reasons. Um, hello?? But it is nice to have somewhere to go.

 

My parents divorce was final today. Yeah, fun stuff there.

I can't wait for lunch.

The rest of today, two exams tomorrow, home..

Latte Thunder II

I was really looking forward to...well, having something to look forward to. Although I still have yet to deliver the finished drawing requested by a (friend? six year acquaintance?), it doesn't seem like it will happen any time soon. Tomorrow was supposed to be the day that I got to go home early and give a friend their Christmas present and finally get rid of that drawing I struggled over so hard. But
no answer on the phone
so i guess its another day's wait for me.

Once you get over

the uncomfortable realization that you're going to look like that someday, the prospect of blowing the brains from the skulls of these idiots seems a lot more appealing.

If I had a fucking gun, this stupid bitch and 90% of the student body here would have painted the walls already.

Once you get over

the uncomfortable realization that you're going to look like that someday, the prospect of blowing the brains from the skulls of these idiots seems a lot more appealing.

If I had a fucking gun, this stupid bitch and 90% of the student body here would have painted the walls already.

Haha

Totally have a crush on one of my professors.